Starting Over… Is It Ever Too Late?

In exactly 17 days from today, it will be exactly four years since my last post on this site.

Sad…

Not for any other reason than that I just disproved what I was trying to prove when I started the site.

I wanted to prove to myself that I could write simply for the sole purpose of writing. Simply for the pleasure of it.

I’m not trying to write a novel, neither am I trying to write to satisfy anyone or anything other than my own creative impulse, but I let it go.

Lately, through a series of unexpected life events, I have been drawn back to many of my first loves. God. Writing. Reading. The Outdoors. Driving. Thinking.

Why did I stop writing?

I can think of many reasons, but right now, the one I choose to place the “blame” on today is money.

I don’t regret any of the money that I earned in lieu of my writing. I choose not to anyway. It was good and I don’t think I can or ever will feel bad about being successful at anything. Success is a blessing from God, one of many of His blessings, as is suffering (the right kind of suffering anyway… more on that in another post for another day).

Having time to step back and reflect on what I really, really want to do with the rest of my life has been somewhat of a humbling and simultaneously revealing (even though forced) exercise for me. Again, no regrets…

So I decided to get back to my first loves.

God

I am diving so deep into God’s Word that I feel what I’m learning could be the subject of an entirely new and separate blog… Don’t worry, I don’t think I will create one though. If anything, I’ll make space for that right here on this one.

I realize that talking about faith and God, and faith in God, is not always welcomed by all. Well, for those who welcome it, then so be it. I’ve done enough people-pleasing for one lifetime and since this is the only one I will get to live here on earth, I’m shaking things up now.

Writing

Back to writing for the pleasure of it. For the fun of it. For the creative release of it.

Writing what’s on my mind and not to satisfy a specific audience avatar in a particular niche that I have carefully researched, and niched down again, and keyword-tagged with the eventual hope of fame, monetization, or both.

I’ve been there and done that.

Yes, it works. But it also brought me to where I am today. Felling a little bit empty because it just doesn’t satisfy me as much today as it did in the past.

So what do I do with that audience that I know have? How do I handle the responsibility of continuing to give them what they want, what I have now “trained” them to expect from me? This is what many-a content marketer will encourage new online entrepreneurs to do but no one teaches you how to get off the hamster wheel when your legs are tired.

I have no answer right now, but when I do, you can be sure I’ll be writing about it.

Reading

For the true pleasure of it. I think I am now on face-to-face recognition terms with many of my local librarians and I know some of their names.

My local Barnes & Noble staff no longer look at and treat me like I’m a mystery shopper anymore because they realize I truly am there to buy (and sometimes read onsite) actual books. I rarely go to price shop anymore because I know Amazon will naturally almost always be cheaper, so when I go to buy a book, I actually do buy the book.

Plus… With my B&N annual membership, I can get some pretty good deals on books that even Amazon can’t beat.

So I’m reading again. Right now I’m reading three books:

  • What Color Is Your Parachute by Richard N. Bolles (may his soul rest in peace) – This book is part of the inspiration for this whole new re-assessment of doing what really feeds my soul
  • Writing With Quiet Hands by Paula Munier – Even though my plan is not to write a novel or book or any sort, I like that she shares her own creative journey and includes writing prompts. it’s interesting and practical.
  • The Content Planner by Angela Crocker – Okay, this one sounds and is a bit “business-ey” but I do need help learning how to structure and organize this site and the content I’ll be putting on it so…

The Outdoors & Driving

Nature is fascinating… The best way to experience it is without interruptions. I go walking and I go driving. Sometimes, most times, with absolutely no planned destination. And when I get there, I just linger.

Why rush?

Even in a bustling metropolitan area one can still hear the sounds of nature, but only if you stop to listen.

Which reminds me… I need to place my order for my free tree from the Arbor Day Foundation. If you like nature and you love trees, then get yours too.

Thinking

Oh… So many thoughts. Just. So. Many. Thoughts.

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