You’re a drunk…
Bethenny: “You’re a drunk… I’m scared of you…” (declarations made to Dorinda)
Would that we could all be so blatantly honest, tell the truth from a good place, and actually mean it in love rather than to hurt.
You’re comfortably seated on a private G5 plane, enjoying the lush comfort and luxury of a non-commercial flight to Puerto Rico. But more importantly, you’re actually on your way to do some very important charitable work to help people affected by the devastating effects of Hurricane Maria.
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I’m currently studying the book of Second Corinthians, and by “study”, I mean I’m doing an in-depth verse-by-verse study of the entire book. It’s one of those studies that draws out deep truths from the Word that I would easily have overlooked were I just reading a segment of the book in a daily devotional.
A couple of days ago, my study covered 2 Corinthians 2:1-11, in this passage we see the compassion Paul had towards the Corinthian church. His love for them was demonstrated in his actions…
- He put their feelings ahead of his (vs. 1-4) – he changed his travel plans and decided not to visit them so that it would not be a sad visit. Instead he wrote them a stern letter (grieving and crying as he wrote it) to encourage them to make some changes.
- He wanted to help them grow in their faith (vs. 5-6) – he encouraged them to discipline someone in their church who was doing something sinful. Instead of sweeping the issue under the rug, he encouraged them to speak the truth in love to this person (Ephesians 4:15) i.e to lovingly “call the person out”
- He encouraged them (vs. 7-11) – after the church had disciplined the person that had been called out, Paul then encouraged them to forgive and comfort him so that he (the one committing the sin… because he had genuinely repented) would not end up discouraged and in despair. They were not to reject him and turn their backs on him permanently.
Okay, at this point you’re probably wondering what this mini sermon has to do with the beginning of this post.
I’m laying the foundation for the point I’m going to make.
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Now back to Bethenny and Dorinda.
NOTE: I am not in any way saying that Bethenny and the apostle Paul are the same but here’s what stood out to me and what I liked about that conversation.
As harsh as it sounds, I think that was really a Proverbs 27:6 moment right there.
Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. ~ Prov. 27:6 (NLT)
The night before this conversation took place between the ladies, dinner was a hot mess. Dorinda had had one drink too many and said some inappropriate things to Bethenny and her dinner guests and, well, it just wasn’t a good dinner.
She ended up leaving the dinner table while ranting about something and everyone else was just speechless.
So the next morning, they have this mission to fulfill and there’s no time to be petty. People are suffering and in need and the show must go on (pun not intended).
So they head off on their trip and Bethenny decided (the night before apparently) to have a serious heart-to-heart with Dorinda about her drinking.
And that’s what I liked…
There was no yelling. There was no screaming. There was no gratuitous throwing of the free champagne or apple juice they were drinking on the plane.
This was just a blunt honest conversation.
That’s not to say that Dorinda agreed or appreciated it, but she received it… At least in that moment she seemed to… In her confessional she said she wasn’t a drunk…
I can’t make a judgment call because I obviously don’t know her, but that’s beside the point.
The point is this: That’s the type of conversations Christians should be having when situations demand them. Not necessarily just with drunk friends, but whenever there is an issue that needs to be addressed instead of swept under the rug.
We shouldn’t be afraid to speak the truth in love even if it means we risk offending our friends.
I’m not as good at this as I would like to be because I sometimes tend to sweep things under the rug or overlook bad behavior in an effort to preserve my friendships… But that’s not true friendship. That’s not true love (as described above).
- I am putting my feelings (i.e. avoiding conflict) ahead of my friend’s welfare (getting help, or stopping some type of bad or dangerous behavior); it might hurt them initially, but the hurt is only to help them not harm themselves
- I am not helping them grow, either in their faith if they’re a believer, or as an individual in general if they’re not
- And by not calling out bad behavior, I don’t create an opportunity to encourage them in doing the right thing
So where’s the love?
Moral Of The Story
I need to make a better effort to be a Proverbs 27:6 friend because that demonstrates true love for (and to) my friend(s), and if Bethenny Frankel can do it, then so can I.
RHONY ~ Season 10, Episode 6; Original air date 5/9/2018